Arrested Development

Hi! Welcome to TLDR Weekly! You’re reading this because you probably stumbled upon this post somewhere on the internet instead of where it should be—in your inbox. But no worries; we can fix that.

Why should you subscribe?

1. You don’t have time to read newspapers

2. You like to be informed

3. You usually find the news long and boring

4. We curate all the top stories from Uganda and the rest of the world into one email, which we send to you every Monday (hopefully, it finds you well)

5. We will occasionally make you laugh

6. It’s brief

If this sounds good, click the subscribe button below, add your email, read our welcome email in your inbox (check your spam folder or Promotion tabs, too), and follow ALL the instructions. This is important so you don’t miss future posts.

Good morning 🌤️ For a long time, we’ve believed oxygen is only created via photosynthesis, which requires light. But Dark Oxygen is believed to be created by small metal clumps at the bottom of the ocean where light doesn’t reach, aka the scariest place in the world if you ask us. The current theory is that the metals twerk a little to produce electricity that splits water particles into oxygen.

If oxygen can be created without light, scientists could be wrong about the origins of life. Try to stifle your Christian zealotry.

This discovery could also increase deep-sea mining to fund the green energy revolution that recommends you use a paper straw while billionaires use private jets to fetch their groceries. However, deep-sea mining could also destroy those twerking metals that create oxygen to support ecosystems at the bottom of the ocean. Wiping out ecosystems is almost always bad because nature is more vindictive than your ex.

There’s some small talk to keep in your bag this week, just in case.

—Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot

Become a paying subscriber of TLDR Weekly to get access to this post and other subscriber-only content.

Already a paying subscriber? Sign In