🛢 Crude reality

Good morning ☀️

Silky smooth prospects and boring (couldn’t resist the pun) news about Uganda’s oil. A lot to be excited about this past week. Even more so if you’re an Arsenal fan.

Let's do this 🚀 

—Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot

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Headlines

🛢️ Crude reality

Over 20 years after oil was discovered in Uganda, Uganda has finally put drill-to-ground with the hope of reaping the first oil output in 2025. Will oil be a blessing or a curse for Uganda? Time will tell. You can find us squatting in a corner of a dark room, rocking back and forth, and reciting the rosary with our fingers and toes crossed.

🇺🇬 Local content

Check on your well-connected friend who always wears a red, blue, and white checked shirt with khaki pants and moccasins; and drives a Premio. Might be time to call in that favor.

🕸️ Silky smooth success

Dubbed Usilk and produced by the Tropical Institute of Development Innovations (TRIDI), the samples of homegrown silk yarn sent to Eurpose for commercial testing last year made the cut. TRIDI officials said with good quality assurance, the silk sales could fetch about UGX 43.2 billion annually. First oil, now silk. Perhaps we should buy lottery tickets?

💰️ Middle-income status: Are we there yet?

After last year’s bout of he said, she said between The World Bank, the Uganda Bureau of Statistics (UBOS), and President Museveni over Uganda’s middle-income status, this past week, during his Liberation Day speech, President Museveni used his trademark gaslighting to (re)assert that Uganda will easily surpass middle-income status. President Museveni projected Uganda’s GDP per capita to hit $1,067 by the financial year 2023/24. This is why “what are we?” is a question best avoided.

💣️ Arsenal for Arsenal fans

After Arsenal FC defeated familiar foes, Manchester United in a bone-jarring match last Sunday, some Ugandan Arsenal fans were arrested (and released shortly after) for making an unsanctioned march through the city center with a faux Premier League trophy aloft. Based on Arsenal’s current form, our discretionary defense budget is likely to eke out some funds for tear gas around May this year (when the season ends).

Beyond Borders

🌍️ Africa

Top Gun Rwanda: In what they perceived as an act of war, Rwanda shot down a Congolese Fighter jet that “violated their space.” Tensions in the region continue to rise as the M23 rebels make further advances. If like us, you’re confused by the constant conflict in DRC, it’s safe to say most of the conflict can be traced back to DRC’s immense mineral wealth and good ol’ fashioned human greed.

New kid on the Bloc: A team of East African Community (EAC) officials is vetting Somalia’s application for membership in the EAC. The vetting process will end on February 3.

How do you say “mind your business” in French? By refusing to accept Canada’s offer of assistance in mediating the six-year conflict in Cameroon between the Anglophone and Francophone factions that has claimed over 6000 lives, the Cameroonian government ostensibly told Canada to mind the business that pays them.

Papal visit: For the first time since 1985, the sitting Pope will visit the DRC this week. While 3 popes have helmed the Catholic Church since 1985, the conflicts in the DRC have mushroomed.

🗺️ The rest of the world

Russia-Ukraine war: With no sign of stopping soon, the Russia-Ukraine war drudges on as the US and German send more tanks to bolster Ukraine’s war efforts.

Pills for Prime: Testament to the grip unbridled capitalism has on American healthcare, American tech behemoth, Amazon.com launched a prescription service for its Prime members. Confused? Imagine if Rockethealth charged you UGX 20,000 a month for refills of your dad’s pressure medication.

China’s demographic decline: For the first time in six decades, China’s population shrunk. A rapidly aging China could make the price of the clothes you’re wearing now skyrocket.

In a speech that sent some Catholics on social media into a tailspin, Pope Francis urged the decriminalization of homosexuality. Homosexuality is still considered a sin by the Catholic church. Sounds a lot like repackaged “hate the sin but not the sinner” to us.

The Unbelievable

A tech billionaire, Bryan Johnson wants to solve aging. For himself. For only $2 million. That’s it. You can read more here.

Nebigenderako

Nigeria is building its own Visa/Mastercard

An underwater bike parking garage in Amsterdam can fit 7000 bikes

Oscar nominees are out and the sci-fi mind-bender Everything Everywhere All at Once scooped the most (11) nominations

Kenyan SACCOS to join the national lending system and be more like, well, banks

Tanzania registers record $63 million diamond exports

Meta to lift the ban on your favorite red-faced bigot with a toupee Trump

Games

Can you complete today’s word search in under 3 minutes? That’s the time to beat.

Procrastination corner

If you love cars (and want to buy one soon), you’ll love this site

People procrastinate on Wikipedia so you don’t have to; here are gems

How to deal with rejection

Whiskey aged in space? Say less

Have a good week!

— Too Long; Didn’t Read (TLDR)

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