šŸ¦ (In)Equity Bank

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Welcome to TLDR Weekly, the best way to consume the news. If you're reading this, itā€™s too late you either subscribed or someone forwarded it to you. If you fit into the latter camp and want to subscribe, then click on the shiny button below:

Good morning šŸŒ¤ļø First it was Diet Coke, then bean burgers, then vegan ice cream, and nowā€”because our American compatriots havenā€™t rioted yetā€”non-alcoholic beer sales have been steadily increasing over the past four years in the US. Thereā€™s something that wonā€™t work in Uganda.

Weā€™re a little late today. Sorry, we slept through our alarm. If youā€™ve been waiting for this email, then heyyy šŸ‘‹šŸ¾. And if you hoped this email was the acceptance letter youā€™ve been waiting for, weā€™re sorry.

ā€”Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot

šŸ¦ (In)Equity Bank

If ā€˜equityā€™ means everyone has the same chance of losing their money, then Equity Bank is seemingly a shining success. Equity Bank once again made headlines for allegedly mishandling client money. Farook Ssekandi, an Equity Bank customer, accused the bank of withdrawing Shs. 10 million out of his account without his consent. In a video recorded at the bankā€™s head office, Farook accused the bank of stealing his money with no justification for taking it.

This is not the first time Equity Bank has been involved in such scandals, with reports of unauthorized withdrawals going as far back as 2015. We just have two qualms: (1) Bank of Uganda is awfully quiet about this issue, and (2) You people have Shs. 10 million sitting on your accounts?! Eh mama.

šŸ“ Human What?

NUP tasked the Uganda Human Rights Commission (UHRC) to investigate the disappearance of 30 of its supporters between November 2022 and April 2023. The UHRC closed that investigation after 12 of the missing were found to have been arrested and later released, but the remaining 18 people are still lost in the Bermuda Triangle of bureaucracy. The UHRC spokesperson claimed relatives were uncooperative with investigations, with further reports indicating that NUP failed to provide the NINs of the missing.

At this juncture, it is good sense to remind you that things are precarious for anyone who irks ā€œthe state,ā€ especially after the UN Human Rights Commission mandate ended in July.

šŸ‡°šŸ‡Ŗ Kenya

King Charles and Queen Camilla are to visit Kenya in October upon the invitation of the busiest man on the continentā€”President Ruto. On the agenda are the usual pleasantries: climate change, youth opportunities, sustainable development, and regional stability. But the real Kericho tea is that King Charles is expected to commiserate with the entire nation over the crimes the British committed in Kenya during the colonial era.

 šŸ‡·šŸ‡¼ Rwanda

Human Rights Watch alleged that the Rwandan government is using violence, intimidation, and judicial mechanisms to silence critics, raising concerns about the UK's plan to send asylum seekers to Rwanda. The UK Court of Appeal ruled the asylum deal unlawful due to the risk of mistreatment for asylum seekers sent to Rwanda.

šŸ‡¹šŸ‡æ Tanzania

The Tanzanian government announced plans to evacuate its citizens from Israel due to the ongoing conflict with Gaza. The government urged Tanzanians to register at the Tel Aviv-based embassy before midnight on October 15.

Other headlines

Uganda Airlines makes inaugural flight from Entebbe to Mumbai.

Parliament opposes the policy to give girls under 15 access to contraceptives.

CNOOC Uganda pinned over lack of safety measures.

World Bank derails efforts to fix traditional schools.

Rwenzururu kingdom to turn destroyed palace into museum.

FDC Katonga faction to challenge judicial conduct.

UK reviews Bobi Wineā€™s visa ban.

Parliament accepts Nsibambiā€™s appointment as the new FDC Whip.

Janet orders Uganda Netball boss Babirye out of office.

Government pulls plug on South Sudan deal.

Ssemujju, Lukwago losing the fight for FDC.

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Beyond Borders 

šŸŒļø Africa

Activists on the first day of the annual meetings of the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank Group in Marrakesh, Morocco | Source: AFP

šŸ¦ Warm welcome. The 2023 World Bank Group-IMF Annual Meetings took place in Marrakech, Morocco, from October 9ā€“15, for the first time in 50 years, and it was apparent that the IMF's advice was akin to offering an old cassette tape in the era of Spotify. Consequently, ActionAid released a scathing report admonishing the IMF for its policies in Africa over the past five decades, calling for the IMF to abandon its failed neoliberal economic model, stop imposing austerity policies, and support debt cancellation and progressive international tax reforms.

Here are the reportā€™s highlights:

  1. IMF's imposition of austerity policies: The report documents how the IMFā€™s austerity policies have undermined health, education, and wider development across the continent.

  2. Debt prioritization over social spending: The IMF's advice to African countries enforces the prioritization of debt repayments over crucial spending on health, education, and climate action, which has perpetuated poverty and hindered meaningful development.

  3. Shift towards productive and higher value-added sectors: a shift away from neoliberal policies and towards investments in more productive and higher value-added sectors for the creation of jobs.

  4. Challenging structural inequalities and girls' rights: the report argues that the IMF's policies have disproportionately and negatively affected women, particularly in the context of public spending and tax policies.

šŸ‡³šŸ‡Ŗ Au revoir. Escorted by the Niger military, French soldiers began withdrawing from their bases in Niger after the junta expelled them in July. The first batch of French troops left by road into Chad, and others by special flights. For the third time in 18 months, a former colony has expelled French troops, dwindling France's influence on the continent and international prestige.

The U.S., on the other hand, cut off more than $500 million in aid to Niger, repudiating the juntaā€™s legitimacy in power. But despite the USā€™s closed fists, they maintain a presence in Niger, with 1,000 military personnel that are not actively training or assisting Niger forces, like a guest who lingers after all the other guests have left.

Other headlines

TotalEnergies hit with lawsuit over 2021 Mozambique militia massacre.

Gabon's deposed leader, Ali Bongoā€™s wife, was jailed.

Nigeria airlifts about 300 citizens from Israel.

WFP resumes food distribution to refugees in Ethiopia.

Russia to build nuclear power plant in Burkina Faso.

Zambia and bilateral creditors agree debt rework MOU.

Eight UN peacekeepers detained in Congo over sexual abuse claims.

Egypt facilitating aid flights to Sinai for besieged Gaza.

Why Africa is divided on supporting Palestine.

Kenyan Police urged to arrest Mike Ross fake lawyer.

Rwanda, DRC Army Generals clash in Ethiopia.

Kenya to end deal with Cuban doctors.

šŸ—ŗļø The rest of the world

šŸ‡®šŸ‡± šŸ‡µšŸ‡ø The Israel-Gaza conflict. Here are the cliff notes by our press time:

  1. Despite the UNā€™s attempts to dissuade them, Israel gave Palestinians 24 hours to evacuate the northern part of the Gaza Strip before imposing a full siege on the Gaza Strip to flush out Hamas operatives and attempt to rescue the civilians and soldiers Hamas took hostage.

  2. While numbers vary widely across various media houses, the consensus is that over 1000 Israelis and 1000 Palestinians have died so far, with over 6,000 injured on both sides.

  3. Hamas threatened to kill a hostage every time Israel bombs Gaza.

  4. Israel froze multiple accounts on the cryptocurrency exchange Binance that Hamas allegedly uses and seized 190 other Binance wallets linked to Hamas or the Islamic State group.

  5. The US, which believes Iran is backing Hamas, re-froze the $6 billion it had agreed to release to Iran in a recent diplomatic deal.

  6. Saudi Arabia put its normalization deal with Israel on hold and some reports believe this was one of the motives of the Hamas attacksā€”to derail a US-led effort to normalize relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia

šŸ› Netlix and chill (outside). In a palate cleanser to clear the taste of conflict and calamity out of your mouth, Netflix will soon try to get you to ā€œchillā€ in public. The streaming giant is planning to open two "Netflix House" locations in 2025, which will feature rotating installations, live shows, and a menu based on Netflix shows. Thinkā€”real-life Bridgerton balls, and Love is Blind dinner pods. These permanent locations are part of their larger strategy to offer experiential events and merchandise, and they plan to open more locations around the world.

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Nnā€™ebigenderako

Politics and Government

Quake strikes Afghanistan and kills ~2,400.

Business and Finance

Birkenstock, your white friendā€™s favorite sandals, IPO-ed with a flop.

The USā€™ URA says Microsoft owes $29 billion in back taxes.

Microsoft finally acquired Activision Blizzard.

Science and Technology

Google announces generative AI search capabilities for doctors.

Adobe improves its AI image generator

Building roads on the moon

First words deciphered on ancient Roman scroll burned by the Mount Vesuvius eruption that destroyed Pompeii

NASA and SpaceX collaborate on a historic mission.

Sports

Kelvin Kiptum breaks marathon world record.

The WNBA Finals are on the brink. | Rugby World Cup updates

Lifestyle and Entertainment

The Hollywood Writersā€™ strike is over, but the actors are still holding the picket line.

The CEO of Leviā€™s gives a definitive answer on how often to wash your jeans. (Spoiler: not often (if at all))

Procrastination corner

Games and Puzzles

From Braingle.

You may need paper and a pen for this one: Suppose you're in a hallway lined with 100 closed lockers.
You begin by opening every locker. Then you close every second locker. Then you go to every third locker and open it (if it's closed) or close it (if it's open). Let's call this action toggling a locker. Continue toggling every nth locker on pass number n. After 100 passes, if you toggle only locker #100, how many lockers are open?

Answer at the bottom.

Our picks

šŸ‡ØšŸ‡³ The massive scale of Chinaā€™s real estate sector

šŸ‘€ See how human sight compares to that of other animals

šŸ“ŗ Why sitcoms tell us when to laugh

Games answer

Answer: 10 lockers are left open.
Lockers #1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, and 100.
Each of these numbers is a perfect square. This problem is based on the factors of the locker number.
Each locker is toggled by each factor. For example, locker #40 is toggled on pass numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 20, and 40. That's eight toggles: open-closed-open-closed-open-closed-open-closed.

The only way a locker could be left open is if it is toggled an odd number of times. The only numbers with an odd number of factors are the perfect
squares. Thus, the perfect squares are left open.

For example, locker #25 is toggled on pass numbers 1, 5, and 25 (three toggles): open-closed-open.

Have a good week!

ā€” Too Long; Didnā€™t Read (TLDR)

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