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- 🏷 Best before 2015
🏷 Best before 2015
TLDR Weekly
May 29, 2023
Good morning ☀️
Squinting at market saturation on the horizon, Netflix is finally implementing the long-rumoured-and-threatened crackdown on password sharing. This means at least 3 things:
The last tether to your estranged ex or family member will soon be severed
Have you heard of IPTV? (You’re welcome)
— Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot
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Headlines
📅 Best Before 2015
Turns out the BlueBand on your kitchen shelf has a lot in common with a degree from a Ugandan university—they’re both bad for your heart, unrecognizable to foreign universities and have expiry dates. After our main competition (your WhatsApp groups) broke the news of a Makerere University alumna who was denied admission to the University of Bristol in the UK because their Bachelor of Biomedical Laboratory Technology degree expired in 2015 (3 years before they graduated), the drops of beaten egg met the hot melted BlueBand in the frying pan. Local universities and the National Council for Higher Education (NHCE) embarked on keyboard warfare that culminated in the NHCE calling for a meeting with university heads next week. (Degrees expire?!)
🔫 Al- Shabaab Deal Major Blow to UPDF
Al-Shabaab carried out its deadliest offensive to date on a UPDF forward operating base in Bulo Marer, Somalia. Following the attack, Lt Gen Kayanja Muhanga, the commander of the Land Forces, led a team to investigate the incident. While Al-Shabaab claimed responsibility for the assault, the actual casualty numbers and extent of the damage haven’t been independently verified yet. President Museveni had this to say.
Other headlines
Oil companies protest hiked food prices in Bunyoro
Startups to get up to Shs. 370m funding from Nile Breweries
Speeding driver mows down and kills two street children at Acacia junction.
120 traditional secondary schools to get facelifts
Jim Spire Ssentongo worried for his life after halting the security exhibition
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Beyond Borders
🌍️ Africa
🇸🇩 Peace or Pieces. The latest US-Saudi-brokered truce meant to provide respite and aid to war-ravaged areas, was violated before the ink on the agreement dried. Meanwhile, the people of Sudan continue to suffer the ripple effects.
🇷🇼 Genocide Justice. In an agency-studded arrest, Fulgence Kayishema, a fugitive wanted for his alleged involvement in genocide, was arrested in Paarl, South Africa. Considered one of the most wanted genocide fugitives globally, Fulgence is expected to be extradited to Rwanda. The arrest won’t help the already strained relationship between Rwanda and South Africa.
Other headlines
Bola Tinubu starts work today and his desk is already full
Peter Mackenzie’s horrendous cult crimes continue to unravel
Dar es Salaam has overtaken Mombasa as the region’s leading port after a $357m upgrade
Mozambique’s former finance minister lost his final appeal against a 20-year prison sentence for his role in a $2BN fraud scandal
The African Union (AU) celebrated its 60th anniversary
Al Ahly won the 2023 Basketball Africa League (BAL) in Kigali
🗺️ The rest of the world
🇷🇺 Russia claims Bakhmut. Russian officials declared they’d taken control of the city of Bakhmut in eastern Ukraine, the first significant conquest for Russia since before a bar of soap cost less than Shs. 7,000. However, Ukrainian officials denied the claims after Zelensky’s defiant G-7 Summit speech. Analysts believe Bakhmut isn’t strategically important, but it became symbolically significant to Russia after some initial territorial gains were lost.
🇨🇳 China Spygate. Five Eyes intelligence network accused Chinese hackers of spying on US critical infrastructure. China was also accused of peeking into the Kenyan government’s shower curtain to glean details about Kenya’s loan repayment plans. China repudiated the claims.
💻 The world’s fastest supercomputer. Oak Ridge National Laboratory's Frontier supercomputer is the world's top supercomputer for the second consecutive year. The Frontier system, whose computing power could be comparable to that of the human brain and is capable of performing quintillion (that’s 18 zeros) operations per second, beat out Japan’s Fugaku system (Overview). The pissing contest in the computing power industry has been dubbed the space race of our age.
Nn’ebigenderako
Entertainment
'Queen of rock 'n' roll' Tina Turner died at 83
Jay Z and Beyoncé bought a $200M mansion *screams in poverty*
Fetty Wap sentenced to 6 years in prison
Science and technology
Zombie fungus | Houses made of diapers | A paralyzed man walks again
Nvidia + AI = 🚀 | Open AI to leave the EU | Chips in your brain are coming
Photoshop + AI = 🔥 | Claude: The constitutional ChatGPT rival
Lifestyle
Mt. Etna, one of Italy’s most popular tourist attractions (when not erupting) erupted
Politics and government
Argentina launched a 2,000 note to fight inflation of over 100%
Games and Puzzles
Brought to you by Braingle
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast - Hip, move the 's' from 'Boast' to 'Hip' creating two synonyms: Boat - Ship.
1. Pain - Nil
2. War - Zoned
3. Routing - Tip
4. Shot - Teaming
5. Right - Blight
Answer at the bottom
Procrastination corner
🤖 AI reimagines world history
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🍲 The year’s best in food photography
Games answer
1. Pin - Nail
2. Ward - Zone
3. Outing - Trip
4. Hot - Steaming
5. Bright - Light
Have a good week!
— Too Long; Didn’t Read (TLDR)
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