The Booze Bill 🍺

Good morning ☀️

Public debt in Uganda is soaring but we’re concerned about alcohol consumption—the last salve of sanity for a tortured population, and men are suing women for rejecting them. Yeah. A lot to unpack.

Let's do this 🔥

— Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot

Someone forwarded you this newsletter? Subscribe here.

Headlines

🧾 Bills, Bills, Bills - Can you pay my bills?

Uganda must pay a hefty bill (~10% of the project sum) for violating the terms of a co-financing agreement with the European Union to fund rehabilitation work on the 375 km Tororo-Gulu Metre Gauge Railway (MGR) line. To understand the gravity of public debt, we suggest you replace Uganda in the first sentence with “I” and read the sentence again.

🍻 The booze bill

Previously on misplaced priorities, the Alcoholic Drinks Control Bill was tabled and we’re not concerned; especially with clause 12 which seeks to regulate the time of sale of alcohol from noon to 6.00 am. However, if you brew suspect concoctions in the back of your compound that could be used as elephant tranquilizers, then this bill should target you.

🤷🏾‍♂️ It wasn’t me

The NSSF saga rambles on like a telenovela. In last week’s episode, Finance Minister, Hon. Matia Kasaija who is Hon. Betty Amongi’s co-supervisor for the fund, spectacularly threw Hon. Betty Amongi under the bus at the special committee parliamentary hearing by saying he had clearly disagreed with her on her controversial request of UGX 6 billion from the Fund.

🏹 Renewed hunt for Kony

Like a true East African — a congenital marathoner, (former?) warlord, Joseph Kony has been on the run since Big G chewing gum and a 50-shilling note. But the International Criminal Court (ICC) is (still) seeking support in their search for the elusive warlord. Let’s hope Kony finally reaches the finish line of justice.

Beyond Borders

🌍️ Africa

⛪️ The Pope visits DRC and South Sudan: The Pope’s message was practical and grounded in hope for a peaceful future in the regions. He believes peace is possible if all parties come together as siblings, regardless of ethnicity.

🔫 War against Al-Shabab: A 20,000-strong African Union force will assemble to "make the final push" against Al-Shabaab and end a 15-year-long insurgency in Somalia.

☮️ Calls for a ceasefire in Congo: At an EAC summit in Burundi on Saturday, February 4, the regional leaders (re)called for a ceasefire by all sides embroiled in the conflict in eastern DRC that pits the DRC’s military against the M23 rebels the DRC government has accused Rwanda of supporting.

🇸🇳 Senegal are CHAN Champions: In a victory testament to the talent of the team, and solidifying their position as one of the top footballing nations in Africa, the Lions of Teranga completed the African double.

⛽️ Shell taken to court: Nearly 14,000 residents from the Niger Delta region of Ogale expect Shell to shell out cash by taking them to court for gross environmental damage to their water and their way of life.

🤖 Tech sweatshops in Africa: Kenyan content moderators for ChatGPT were subjected to inhumane conditions to make ChatGPT a “better person”. This opinion piece perfectly delivers on the moral dilemma.

Help share TLDR Weekly

❌ Don’t keep us a secret: We’re reaching more people with our unique take on the top stories from Uganda and the rest of the world because our readers share our posts with their community. Help us grow:

• Forward this email to friends

• Share this link for them to subscribe

🗺️ The rest of the world

🛢️ Shellshocked: After over a year of (nearly) the entire world praying while staring at the fuel gauge behind their steering wheel, Shell joined other oil corporations, Chevron and Exxon Mobil in announcing preposterous profits ($40 billion for the year 2022). Go Green, right?

🎈China spy balloon shot down: Adding another ice cube to the frosty China-US relations, the US shot down a giant Chinese balloon it says China was using to spy on American military sites. The US and China have been in “touch me first and you see” wrangles recently about chip technology and Taiwan. While we thought it was embarrassing China got caught, some experts say China wanted to get caught 👀.

The Unbelievable

🇸🇬 A Singaporean man sued a woman for rejecting his advances. Someone has some unresolved childhood issues to work through

🇺🇬 In Father Abraham’s sequel titled: Father Abraham had (too) many sons, Musa Hasahya Kasera, a resident of Busiga village in Butaleja district in Uganda claims to have “had enough” as his family tree burgeoned into a forest with 102 children. Your move, Nick Cannon.

N’ebigenderako

A concerned citizen, Hajji Yunus Ntale petitioned the Attorney General to remind President Museveni about the vacant Governor seat at Bank of Uganda

The world’s most popular YouTuber, MrBeast cured 1000 people’s blindness and some people were mad

Chat GPT surpassed 100 million users (in ~9 months) faster than TikTok (9 months), Instagram (2.5 years), and Spotify (4.5 years)

Another Italian mafia fugitive found in a pizza place

Paco Rabanne, the celebrated perfume and fashion designer dies

The last Boeing 747 was wheeled out last week

Suicide bombing at a Pakistan mosque kills hundreds

Lost and (now) found deadly radioactive material in Australia (of course)

The 65^th Grammy Awards were presented last night and while Beyonce became the winningest Grammy winner ever, she also lost out to Harry Styles’ “Harry’s House” in the Album of the Year category…same.

🧩 Riddle me this

Q: Rachel goes to the supermarket and buys 10 tomatoes. Unfortunately, on the way back home, all but 9 get ruined. How many tomatoes are left in a good condition?

Please reply to this email with your answer

Procrastination corner

🔎Why we all need subtitles these days (Glad it wasn’t just us)

🪟 Defog your car windows the right way

🤨 Guess the year each photo was taken

🌴 Plan your next vacay with AI

Have a good week!

— Too Long; Didn’t Read (TLDR)

How are we doing?

We’ve published a handful of newsletters so far and we’d love to know your thoughts. Please share any feedback you have by replying to this email.

If you'd like to sponsor an issue of the newsletter or advertise in an issue, email us at [email protected]

Someone forwarded you this newsletter? Subscribe here.