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- 🏃🏾♀️ The Great Escape
🏃🏾♀️ The Great Escape
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Good morning 🌤️ What do chimpanzees, whales, and humans have in common? A lot, actually. But in this case—menopause. Scientists discovered that chimpanzees are also prone to getting hounded by their visiting aunties about having kids. But since female chimpanzees are notoriously terrible grandmothers, the discovery casts doubt on the long-held rationale for the existence of menopause—the grandmother hypothesis—which states that older females stop reproducing to dedicate time to supporting their children’s offspring. There’s some substance for your small talk this week.
Have a good week!
—Gloria Mbabazi, Shem Opolot
HEADLINES
📣 Tough times are lasting
Uncle Sam got his megaphone out and blasted out yet another warning to its citizens, this time in the form of a business advisory. The advisory—the second in four months—highlights the endemic corruption and the human rights restrictions in the country that the recently passed anti-homosexuality law exacerbated. The advisory warns that it could be difficult for US businesses and individuals to operate in Uganda, especially as the 2026 elections approach.
This latest advisory comes hot on the heels of the World Bank suspending new funding to Uganda back in August. The pressure is getting wesser.
🏃🏾♀️ The Great Escape
In a dizzying turnabout of events, Geraldine Ssali, the former Permanent Secretary (P.S) of the Ministry of Trade, left the chopping block after a presidential order reinstated her for unclear reasons. The P.S. of the Ministry of Finance and Secretary to the Treasury, Mr. Ramathan Ggoobi, had removed Ms. Ssali due to financial queries involving small-small Shs. 8 billion and requested the appointment of a new accounting officer while Ssali was under investigation. I guess we shall never know if and/or how Ssali spent over Shs. 400m, to transport ministry documents from Kampala to Entebbe. In the space of a day, the same presidential pardoning spirit visited the former Uganda Bureau of Standards (UBOS) Executive Director, Ebiru David Livingstone. The bribery charges against Ebiru, who allegedly paid a bribe of Shs 100m to retain his job, have been dropped.
🇰🇪 Kenya
As our high school textbooks spring to life, King Charles will face a colonial conundrum on his visit to Kenya regarding the Mau Mau mayhem, with the veterans who fought in the war seeking justice, compensation, and an apology for the trauma and abuse suffered under British rule.
🇷🇼 Rwanda
French politician Jean-Luc Melenchon accused Rwanda of harboring “expansionist aims” in the DRC, which is a polite way of saying it wants all the smoke and all of the DRC’s things. The loaded statement joins earlier accusations made against Rwanda and its alleged backing of the Tutsi-led M23 rebel group.
🇹🇿 Tanzania
Tanzania’s speaker, Tulia Ackson stepped up as the newly elected president of the International Parliamentary Union (IPU). With 57% of the vote, she's the first African woman to hold this position.
Other headlines
Fight erupts ahead of G77, NAM summits.
Defiant Acholi MPs mobilize locals to evict herdsmen.
Shs. 2.5bn in gold and fuel tanker stolen by highway robbers.
Katonga Bridge illegally used at night.
1.2 million Ugandans struggle with alcohol use disorder.
Uganda's Noble rows to second Olympics.
2 week ultimatum given to gov’t to reopen Facebook or face legal action.
Seven companies in race to revive Kilembe Mines.
UB40: We’ll not perform in Uganda.
Tayebwa in talks to resolve the government-opposition impasse.
Female opposition MPs demand accountability over police brutality.
MUK lecturers reject biometric clock-in system again.
BEYOND BORDERS
Africa
Source: Africa News
🇳🇬 Full steam ahead. Stop us if you’ve heard this before: Nigeria’s President Bola Tinubu retained the keys to a troubled kingdom after the country’s Supreme Court upheld his contested election victory, dismissing the claims of his rivals that the election was marred by irregularities. Tinubu now has a clear mandate to govern Nigeria, which is facing numerous challenges, including inflation, currency shortages, insecurity, and crude oil theft. Tinubu's rivals, Atiku Abubakar and Peter Obi, alleged voter fraud and constitutional violations, but the court also rejected claims that Tinubu submitted a forged certificate. Tinubu's administration is focused on implementing reforms to revive the economy and address security challenges across the country.
🇲🇱 Desert Storm. Like a guest that has overstayed their welcome, the UN mission in Mali (Minusma) is being forced to hastily withdraw from the country due to pressure from the ruling junta at a time of escalating tensions and attacks from various armed groups in the region. But since we’ve reported on this ‘withdrawal’ before, it’s important to note that a lack of trust and communication between the Minusma and the junta has complicated the withdrawal process. And yes, this gets funnier the more times we type ‘withdrawal’.
The junta claims the mission has failed and accuses it of manipulating human rights issues. The Minusma, which has faced difficulties obtaining flight permits and limited maneuverability, has been forced to destroy or decommission equipment it can’t take with it.
Other headlines
South Africa wins Rugby World Cup.
Sudan's rival generals resume US and Saudi-led talks on ending war.
Senegal stops French auction of first president's jewelry.
Libya's parliament boots diplomats of countries backing Israel.
Ethiopian Prime Minister calls for dialogue over access to Red Sea.
U.S. ends aid to Gabon, calls for progress toward democracy.
EACRF soldier killed in Eastern DR Congo ambush.
Kenya court extends pause on Haiti deployment.
Major rainforest countries agree to work together to save them.
Senate votes to keep U.S. troops in Niger.
The rest of the world
Presidential candidate Javier Milei greeting supporters. | Source: Photo: Luis Robayo/AFP via Getty Images
🇦🇷 Argentina elections. In the first three decades of the 20th century, Argentina outgrew Canada and Australia in population, total income, and per capita income. However, since 1950 and lots of political and economic instability later, Argentina has spent 33% of the time in recession, second in the world behind the Democratic Republic of Congo, according to the World Bank. Today, Argentina hopes to elect its next savior democratically, with two vastly different candidates vying for the top job: Javier Milei, a far-right Donald Trump admirer who owns five cloned dogs, wants to boot the central bank, and legalize human organ sales; and the finance minister, Sergio Massa, under whom inflation and poverty hit 140% and 40%, respectively.
After a tightly contested initial election round, the two candidates head for a run-off election on November 19th, with the entire country on their knees, with their eyes peeled, in a ‘waiting for Messi to kick a winning penalty’ sort of way, but with a little more at stake.
💣 Israel-Gaza conflict update. As the world remains split over the morality of mass murdering innocent people depending on who’s doing the murdering, the death toll in Gaza and the West Bank continues to rise. Current numbers stand at 7,650 Palestinians and more than 1,400 Israelis killed.
Here are the latest updates from the past week:
Hamas freed two more hostages out of an approximate 200 still detained, citing humanitarian reasons.
The UN warned that the inflow of aid into the conflict zone might be interrupted due to shortages of fuel for powering generators in the largely overwhelmed hospitals.
The UN passed a resolution in New York with 120 votes in favor and 14 against, while 45 countries abstained. This resolution sought to establish a sustained humanitarian truce leading to a cessation of hostilities. Notably, the United States and Israel opposed the resolution, and Ukraine abstained.
Israel ramped up airstrikes across the Gaza Strip, reducing residential buildings to rubble, crushing families, knocking out communications, and creating a near-blackout of information
Israeli forces waged ground operations against Hamas in Gaza in what Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called the second phase of a three-week-old war aimed at crushing the Palestinian militant group.
NN’EBIGENDERAKO
Politics and Government
The Kremlin denies Putin is ill and laughs off body-double rumors.
Business and Finance
Big Oil in America gets bigger after telling you to go green.
Google is supercharging maps with AI.
Science and Technology
IBM unveils new mind-blowing processor.
Parasitic worms still host DNA?!
Artists using AI to fight AI | AI breakthroughs in human cognition
Skin cancer-treating soap made by a 14-year-old.
Turns out cocks might actually be cocky.
Sports
The NBA is back!
Lifestyle and Entertainment
Scorcese vs. Taylor Swift at the box office (Spoiler alert: it’s not close)
Britney Spears’ memoir is already a bestseller.
Tyler Perry signs a multiyear first-look deal with Netflix.
Taylor Swift is officially a billionaire.
Squid Game: The Challenge, because nothing is sacred with capitalism.
PROCRASTINATION CORNER
Games and Puzzles
From Braingle.
What 8-letter word has KST in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end?
Hint: Read the sentence VERY carefully. The answer is a compound word.
Answer at the bottom.
Our picks
💡 Write: a database of every writing system in the world
💡 Listen: Over 700 songs scientifically confirmed to give you goosebumps
💡 Look: Art made from clouds
Games answer
Answer: Inkstand. KST in the middle, IN (is) the beginning. AND (is) at the end.
Have a good week!
— Too Long; Didn’t Read (TLDR)
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